What I’m doing to be a better mom

I don’t know about anyone else, but I am a goals-oriented, learning-driven person. This manifests in my parenting as well- I often feel the best about what I’m doing as a parent when I’ve got some measurable plan of attack to “do a better job” and learn more about how to best help my kiddos learn and grow. Here are three things I’m doing lately, and why.

Read parenting books. One thing I’ve been doing is reading this book, “Simplicity Parenting” by Kim John Payne- I read about a chapter a day (sometimes less), so I can have time to process the content. It’s my own copy (rather than the library’s), so I can underline and annotate and mark up the book as much as I want. I try to do some reading early on during the day. Often mornings right after breakfast are when the girls play the nicest together and on their own, so rather than grabbing my phone and scrolling through Instagram, I’ll try to read a page or two. I find this helps me get in the mindset of mindful parenting for the rest of the day- almost like setting an intention for the day- it helps me focus on what’s most important.

Less phone time, more floor time. Inspired by the LookUp Challenge, I’ve been trying to spend less time on my phone during the day and more time on the floor, playing with my kids and paying attention to them. It’s so easy to be on my phone because it feels like a connection to other adults, which I don’t otherwise get, but it comes at too big of a cost. I want the girls to know that they’re the most important thing to me, not whatever is on the phone. I haven’t actually gone through A Friendly Affair’s full challenge (although I have the emails and materials, I just haven’t actually done it yet!)- but the idea behind it is inspiring and I’m working on it.

More me time / volunteering time. I’m finding that when I have a little time away from the girls, I am able to come back recharged and better able to focus on them. So I’m trying hard to make more time for myself and make space for things in my life that aren’t kid related. I’m about to start volunteering tutoring ESL to refugee women, and for some reason even though this is logistically complicated (it’s nowhere near my home!), it’s much easier for me to make the time when it’s helping someone else. That starts this week, so I’ll keep you posted!

What do you do to try to improve yourself as a parent? Sometimes I feel like there’s no such thing as self-improvement anymore– all improvement goes towards the kids, so all the more reason to become better!